Definitely Probably Intellectual Quotes

By Evil Dr. Reef on Oct. 7, 2015
  • Super Dave: If you weren’t such a genius.
    Dean: Genius? More like a genuine ass.
    Derek: Get out of my house.
  • Marcus: I can’t see why it’s so expensive.
    Jim: Because it’s shiny.
    Krysty: I’m shiny.
    Jim: If you clean your pores, you can fix that problem.
  • Derek: Did you know that if Dean drank his own weight in water, he’d never stop drinking because the more he drank, the more he’d weigh?
  • Super Dave: So which of us do you think is the most gay?
    Jim/Derek: You.
    Super Dave: But……….why?
  • Derek: Now let’s never talk about it again.
    Jim: Until we make new friends.
    Derek: Then let’s never make new friends.
  • Super Dave: I once accidentally stapled my scrotum to my inner thigh.
    Dean: Really?
    Super Dave: No.
    Derek: That doesn’t sound like something that happened.
    Jim: But it does sound like something he’d do.
  • Dean: I hate this game. 0/10. Call of Duty is a better game than this.
  • Marcus: Don’t patronize me. I know I’m thoroughly anally bleeding.
  • Marcus: As a heathen–
    Jim: A godless heathen?
    Marcus: The best kind!
  • Marcus: Dolphins will stick their penis into that hole, no matter what ‘that hole’ is.
  • {{Jim: He’s basically remembered for two things: the Teapot Dome Scandal and being a horndog.
    {{GX: Heh…
    {{GX: Teapot Dome.
  • Super Dave: Riddle me this, Batman: What is it that no man wants to have, but no man wants to lose?
    Jim: His wife.
  • Dac: So what are you reading?
    Super Dave: An article about a guy getting killed by an alligator.
    Dac: So I guess that’s better than talking to your friends.
    Jim: Actually…
    Dac: I’m serious!
  • Jim: We came, we saw, we left.
  • Jim: What are you, whores or bores?
  • Derek: I could beat Dean in an arm wrestling contest if, IF I stab Dean in the liver with a letter opener.
  • Dean: It’s a good-ass show.
    Derek: It’s okay.
    Jim: It’s an okay-ass show.

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