Online Quotes to Celebrate Site Launches

By Evil Dr. Reef on Oct. 24, 2014
The Formula D World Championship
EvilDrReef
Evil Dr Reef
Evil Dr. Reef
  • {{Jim: All I know is that my gut says, “Stop pouring coffee into me. It’ll stunt your growth.”
    {{Jim: And I’m like, “I’m 27, gut. I’m not going to grow much more. ‘Sides, I’m six foot three. Leave me alone. You’re not my real dad.”
    {{Jim: And my gut’s like, “Yeah, but half of your genes came from your dad, and that’s close enough!” And then it slaps me.
  • {{Jim: What worries me more is that she looks like she’s wearing an adult diaper.
    {{GX: Oh don’t worry.
    {{GX: She is.
  • {{GX: I should play a game.
    {{Jim: You should play Pee McBladderton: Professional Pisser.
    {{GX: I don’t have a 3DO.
  • {{Jim: =O
    {{GX: Reef, if this is related to TV, you will shut your fat mouth.
    {{Jim: =|
  • {{GX: Well, I tried.
    {{GX: And that’s what’s important.
    {{Jim: That’s what the children always said too.
    {{Jim: And then they were fed into a tree debarker.
    {{GX: Well, it was pretty weird that they were covered with bark.
    {{Jim: That wasn’t bark. That was Elephantitis.
    {{GX: I don’t care what it was. I just know that it works pretty well as mulch.
  • {{Marcus: Man, the Prost genes are strong in him.
    {{Jim: Indeed.
    {{Marcus: That man knew when to swerve into Heidfeld like his old man.
    {{Jim: Those old homing instincts. Like the pigeons.
    {{Marcus: “Hey son, good job out there. But when I did that years ago I did it to win a championship. Not just because I could.”
  • {{Jim: In fact, it may be required.
    {{Derek: Oh, did they pass that law?
    {{Jim: It got through the House. Still sitting in the Senate.
    {{Derek: But … I AM the Senate.
    {{Jim: Well then it’s your fault that it’s taking this so long.
    {{Derek: I’m a lazy government office.
  • {{GX: Is he the one with the DBZ Google Glass?
    {{Jim: Yeah.
    {{Jim: That’s exactly what it’s called, by the way. Don’t let actual DBZ tell you otherwise.
    {{Jim: “Vegeta, what does your Google Glass say about his power level?” “Well, nothing. I don’t get wifi out here and my phone won’t tether.”
  • {{Jim: If you give a cactus an engagement ring?
    {{GX: Then he’ll probably want a wedding to go with it.
    {{Jim: Why does it have to be a “he” you misogynist. >:{
    {{GX: Because it’s a cactus. It looks like a big, spikey… well… yeah.
    {{Jim: Oh, good point.
  • {{Random: Is it weird that I want to dip my General Tso’s chicken in ranch dressing?
    {{Whitney: Nah. It happens to a lot of guys. XD
    {{Whitney: (And pregnant ladies.)
    {{Random: Ok, good.
    {{Random: Wait, not so good.
    {{Jim: I’m glad Random’s pregnant. It’s about time he settled down.
    {{Random: … I need to drink less whiskey….
    {{Whitney: That’s probably bad for the baby. :/
  • {{Jim: Let’s not get into your autoerotic asphyxia documentary.
    {{Marcus: Hey! Let’s not bring up “Choking Up: The Story of One Man’s Frozen Rope Erection” in vain.
    {{Jim: Rigor mortis is the stiffest stiffness of all.
  • {{Jim: To be fair, it was an Ikea cactus, so it was probably drinking on the metric system.
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